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the writings of a predator...
posing as a house pet
a year ago, almost to the day, I left my husband to seek out true happiness.
6 months ago I found that happiness. let it change my life. I felt a love like I've never known with him. only a week ago or so he told me he would give me the world and love me forever.
today the man that I met and fell madly in love with, has left me. im processing these feelings of losing him and his children who I've loved and cared for. I'm completely blindsided by this. I had no warning. not even a telling conversation was had. we were supposed to move to his house at the end of October and we'd terminated our lease in the house we rented. so I've also got to figure out where I'll be calling home in just 3 weeks. I've had some low times, but I think this one is my lowest and most painful. I can't eat. I've slept 4 hours in 3 days. every song is one I sang to him. every breath hurts my head. i can still feel the warmth of his hands on my back. but as I lie here in his oversized bed alone, my skin goes cold. my heart is broken. i feel more alone than I've ever felt. I don't know how to just stop loving him. when we met it was like finding the piece of my life I've always been missing. we fell in love almost immediately. he treated me better than I've ever been treated by anyone. Friday morning he kissed me good bye as I left for work and told me he loved me. Friday afternoon he
was gone. it's so abrupt and such a shock to my system. the only thing I know to do is write about it and try to make sense of it all.

Current Mood: crushed crushed

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so- in a nut shell.. this is my life:I went to flush the toilet - my cellphone fell in as the water went down. gone baby gone... the funny part is that the day befor i reactivated my service... shit! atleast i got a new phone that was cuter and funner... any questions?

Current Location: home.. in my bathrobe
Current Mood: amused amused
Current Music: muse is in my head

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i'm such a trader.

i'm on myspace! =o X


see if you can find me..

in other news.

I finished 911 school and have my certificate. by summertime i'll bee a 911 operator. WOO!

let me see if i can dig up a new picture of me on here ... hmmm...

found one.

anywho.. i hope all my old friends are still around and doing well..

i do miss this place sometimes......

Current Mood: sleepy sleepy
Current Music: QOTSA

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so after work yesterday i went to my moms to do laundry and somehow in the process managed to totally split the butt of my pants that i was wearing.. so i was late to class because i had to WAIT for my other pants to dry and it took forever..

bleh.. i can't wait to have my own washer and dryer again..
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so lets see what all has been going on..

i started working in a new department at REI .. direct sales.. back in august and in september i was in a really bad car accident and broke my arm in 2 places and tore a bunch of tendons and stuff.. never really broken a bone before so this was a new adventure.. i had no use of my hand or arm for almost 2 months before i started getting feeling back in my fingers or had any grip at all.. yes i cried over spilling a glass of milk..

in december i started back at work and made the decision that since i can't do any nails whatsoever anymore.. i figured if i'm gonna be on the phones doing stuff i better get a good paying phone career.. so on january 7th i enrolled back in school to get my 911 emergency call taker certificate.

i really love it. sometimes the typing is a little painful on the wrist but its getting easier every day.
i think i'll miss doing nails, but it wasn't getting me anywhere.. and i'm at a point where i need to be going somewhere in my career. my dad and i want to develop his property and the only way thats going to happen is if i make more moolah.. otherwise he doens't want to do it. but Jesse and i really want a home of our own and we want to be able to build it. and what better way to do so than with my dad.

work has been slow so i'm spending a lot of time dinking around.. searching websites and stuff like that.. firing up my LJ once again..

anywho.. back to work

Current Location: work
Current Mood: cheerful cheerful

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so i had an interview today before word.. i applied for the call center here at REI.. and hopefully i get it. anything to be out of the actual warehouse.. part of me feels confident that i have the job. but i don't want to be cocky. i know i'm up against a lot of applicants.. but the fact that i already work here is a plus* so we'll see. but all in all i think it went well*

wish me luck*

Current Mood: chipper chipper

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well.. today i cam to work after being sick for a day and a half... and... i got moved over to fulfilment for the next two weeks.. requested.. or whatever that means.. i guess its a good thing.. its easy tho.. and much quieter than in marking.. no conveyour belt shit moving all over.. its a differant pace.. so we'll see.. and our boss marcus just had his farewell lunch with us.. hes moving to another department.. so we'll see how that goes.. the new boss for marking is ok.. hes targeted me as someone to talk to.. interesting enough.. i suppose.. anywho..

anywho.. i'm off.. gonna try callin my hunny..
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today i'm exhausted.. and i think my job is sucking the life outta me.. its just.. not me.. so.. i'm totally crossing my fingers for this position at expedia.. hoping hoping hoping...

i need outta rei..

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so.. thursday.. i pulled a muscle in my back.. apparently.. by the end of the day.. the rumor was so elaborate that i. fell.. cracked my head.. and was spazzing on the floor..


gotta love the grapevine..

unreal.. i'm gettin better tho.. back at work so thats always a bonus.. since we just got pain and i'm already broke..



off to light duty i go
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thank fawkin gawd its friday.. hour n fifteen left to go.. and i'm off work.. man o man is this the longest day ever.. started out with my dog locking me out of my house.. he scratched at the door and turned the freakin dead bolt.. i had to stand outside till jesse got home with the car.. like.. 5 minutes tops.. but.. still.. then.. THEN! he didn't have his house keys on him either.. go figure.. so he climbed in the bath room window.. and we discovered how easy it is to break in our house with a pair of BBQ tongs.. lol.. so we brought in all our bbq stuff.. ::skakes head:: who'd a thunk it..

oki.. back to the grind..
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